The Stupor Patriots!: Liar, Liar Pants On Fire!

DISCOURAGE FORWARD!!!! Junior Cape Crusaders!

We received a memo from one of our very own Stupor Patriot Spy Trainees that needed our help. So lets take a look at the question and predicament that Trainee X344 is in.

To: Stupor Patriot controller Y45
From: Stupor Patriot Trainee X344
Ref: General Jack

Sirs: Yesterday in our counter-spook 101 class we visited some of the confounding issues and statements surrounding General Jack. I for one am very confused on how General Jack passed by our intelligence agencies and how General Jack makes some of the statements on his website www.superpatriots.com without anyone fact checking? Can you help?

SPCC controller Y45:
Dear Trainee X344, first we do not want to jump ahead of your Stupor Patriot training program. But we will tell you this much. In coming episodes we will visit many issues surrounding General Jack. Never let it be said that we are not a equal opportunity cynical comic weblog.

We will visit the real reason for the movie the Peacemaker.
We will visit how General Jack passed by not just the US Military, US Intelligence and the FBI (What's the name of that Irish song? O' Gary Rohen?)
We will visit how a Federal Fraud Complaint filed against General Jack back in March of 2003 went unheeded by the US Attorney's Office because of a lack of "public interest" until the complainant became a pain in the ass and how it took off after General Jack got himself busted in Afghanistan.
We will visit how the famous Tashkent Document got held back from anyone's knowledge for almost a year before it was intercepted.
We will visit how General Jack got taken off the air on Fox News because of his own stupidity.
We will visit with all the phonies and another rouge agent of access that got outed because of General Jack and some of his minions (yea there was another who did not have a criminal record nor a fame and glory motive).
We will visit the AQ Tapes and conflicting statements of which General Jack made BIG Bucks over(dead Japanese reporters and all) .
We will visit how General Jack is man handling the Knightsbridge International Foundation for his own gain not justice. (BTW in case your wondering we have nothing to do with Knightsbridge)
We will visit with Robin Moore and learn how General Jack became the author of his book.
We will visit the trial records of General Jacks lawyers John Edwards Tiffany who thinks he can score a conspiracy charge off of some dang emails and Francis C.J. Pizzulli who wants off the case badly.

But not to disappoint you we will today look at some of the conflicting statements made by our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack off his website www.superpatriots.com . We will be doing a parody on each link in the future. So not to break any copyrights (BTW we again let you know that nothing here is copyrighted like that makes a difference in the first place, while we insist that you download everything and share it with family and friends) we will paraphrase the statements of our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack as best we can. Please follow along with us Junior Cape Crusaders by reading at our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack Top Ten Press Lies http://www.superpatriots.us/presslies/index.htm

Who's a liar? Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

Yes Junior Cape Crusaders Ed Caraballo is very correct not everyone is a liar. Of course he does not mention stretching the truth like 20 miles and blowing smoke!

Press Lie Number 1:

The prisoners were found hanging upside down in the Stupor Patriot Compound. Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack says it never happened. No one was ever tortured says our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack So lets take a look at a statements from some of our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack prisoners and the prosecutor.... Yes Junior Cape Crusaders Afghan Justice is strange but then again this is what happens when you commit a crime OUTSIDE of the United States in many third world Countries.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

"Ghulam Sakhi testified that he only confessed after being hung upside down and tortured with boiling water"
"The prosecutor, Mohammed Nameem Aware, presented his case against the American and Afghani defendants, first spelling out a lengthy list of accusations, then repeating the main charges: illegally entering the country, setting up and running private jails, conducting armed arrests of Afghan citizens, and misrepresenting themselves to Afghan government officials. Aware said he had evidence, including photos and videos, to prove his charges, and witness testimony from the eight people who had been detained by Idema and his colleagues. Torture equipment had been found, including chains, ropes and blood stained fabric."
"Wahid, 19, said he had worked as an interpreter for Idema but had committed no crime. He said he had seen prisoners kept in bathrooms, tied in chairs, covered with hoods and immersed in cold water until they started choking. "The first time I saw this, I was shaken and shocked," he said. "

"Press Lie Number 2- ...Ah about the same as number one and our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack is just word playing for the most part. Though our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack does focus on a couple of points. A). The press reports were widely known to be false and B) No evidence......

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

Well we will never say the Press is always accurate and we do agree that using unidentified or unnamed sources can be very dangerous especially when many reporters do not check the backgrounds or knowledge of these so-called sources. BUT! Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack is also a master of using the press for his own gain. As far as widely known to be false. The question is by who? Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack and his merry band of ~~scam artists~~ hero's? And as far as no evidence? Right even though Afghan Justice leaves a lot to be desired twelve monkeys would have convicted and this is exactly the same excuse Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack used during his fraud trial and conviction.

We at SPCC want all of you Junior Cape Crusaders to remember these immortal words of Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack "It was always "a source that refused to be named." That's press lingo for; it was made up, or at best, a rumor, in order to sell newspapers. Sickening when you think about it, criminal when you consider how it affected the lives and liberty of three innocent Americans and their families (c) J. Keith Idema "Super Patriot.Com " (oops was that copyrighted ?) !

Press Lie Number 3- Innocent Afghans?

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

We will admit that even a bind squirrel will eventually find nuts. But then how come no one was ever officially charged by the US Government as terrorists?

Press Lie Number 4- None of Jack intel was ever disproved!

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

Yes Junior Cape Crusaders none of Jacks intel was ever disproved. But it was just that RAW INTELLIGENCE with no basis in most facts. Remember Junior Cape Crusaders there is no such thing as bad intelligence. There is just Intelligence. Then again there is a thing called BAD ANALYSIS of the Intelligence (like all terrorists have long beards). So never be fooled when someone says my intel was never proved wrong. Though our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack would never, ever release any of his sources so US Intelligence could "vet" the RAW Intelligence and prove it either way! While we again remind you that none of our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack's prisoners were ever found to be what he said they were.

Press Lie Number 5- Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack's says he never billed himself as a government official! While it seems that most of these attacks are on the two most deadliest and accurate articles about our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack'! Oh BTW (ret) retired means "Withdrawn from one's occupation, business, or office; having finished one's active working life". Like Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack actually retired from the US Military in the first place. So let's take a look at what Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack had to really say about this.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

"Working together in an official and unofficial capacity, the Lithuanian commando and the Green Beret [Idema] used under cover operatives to gather information" Idema had traveled to Lithuania during their struggle for independence and was acting as an undercover intelligence source. His cover was to instruct the Lithuanian police and to develop a privately funded American Special Operations and police academy for the Baltic states." And "In 1993 he briefed the US Government of terrorist attempts to obtain Weapons of Mass Destruction for use against American cities."

"INTERVIEWER: "[REFERRING TO MR. IDEMA’S BACKGROUND] advisor to Royal Thai Army Special Forces, Counter Terrorist Task Force Leader, Undercover intelligence agent in Russia, military advisor in Nicaragua, El Salvador, Laos, Cambodia, Eastern Europe working with the Contras in Central America.

" Mr. Idema has been a police detective, working for the SPCC Child Abuse Task Force where he helped implement a variety of training programs aimed at protecting children in hostile environments. In the 1970s Mr. Idema trained anti-poaching teams for the South African police and military, where he developed a special interest in the protection of wildlife. He has been an adviser to more than a dozen countries and as a program director for the US Agency for International Development during the 1986 Haitian crisis, tasked with the protection of humanitarian aid efforts. Throughout his career Mr. Idema has had a particular interest in the protecting children and animals. Mr. Idema’s military experience includes service with Special Forces elements whose expertise included working with indigenous people and organizing vulnerable groups with capacity building programs.

"Press Number# 6 - Backwards Flag!

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire !

It should have been wore upside down in his case.

Press Lie Number 7- Worked closely with the ISAF and never duped them!

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire !

"though an ISAF spokesman now maintains that the unit was "duped" into believing that Idema was operating either under contract to, or with the authority of, the U.S. military. American authorities say Idema, whom they term a mercenary and bounty hunter, may be just one of many shadowy Americans operating in Afghanistan without official sanction, lured in some cases by a kind of patriotic fervor, and in other cases, by the chance to collect that $50 million bounty."

Press Lie number 8- No connection to US Government. Our Imprisoned POW Hero Leader General Jack tells of Counterr Group's client listing (boy we would love to see those cooked books!)