Tuesday, April 12, 2005

MORE FAN MAIL!

DISCOURAGED FORWARD! Junior Cape Crusaders!

We received more fan mail and wanted an opportunity to answer some of your questions!

Bay Ganyo from Bulgaria writes,
Dear SPCC, Who is taking care of Mrs. Idema (General Jacks Wife) while General Jack is serving his five years?

Stupor Patriots Comm Center (SPCC):
Dear Ganyo, How thoughtful of you to write and be so concerned about Mrs. Idema! Well Victoria is being taken good care of since General Jack has come into BIG BUCKS! Vicky is a master with finances! We just hope that there is some money still left when General Jack gets out! And we understand that General Jacks business partner at the bat cave is taking real good care of Vicky!

Chan Siu Ming from Hong kong writes,
Dear SPCC, Can you tell us about Mrs. Idema the wife of General Jack?

SPCC: Dear Chan, Viktoria Runningwolf, Vicky Robertson,Vickie Boyette is a former securities trader who was convicted of securities fraud and served her sentence in a different type of PRISON! General Jack believes in a happy family unit! (especially when it come to fraud and a wife testifying in court)

Ivan Horvat from Bulgaria writes,
Dear SPCC, We wild and crazy guuuuy's......were roaming the beach looking for some babes and we ran into a couple of stringer news babes! My babe was named Lisa! But we felt sad because of General Jack being in that jail cell with all those bad guy's wanting to kill him, so we wrote him a poem! "The spring has sprung, the skirts has riz! I wonder where our hero's is?"
PS: We wild and crazy guuuy's... did the stringer babes for a story on how UFO's are dropping off terrorist in Idaho!

SPCC: Dear: Wild and Crazy Guuuy's! Thank you so very much for the lovely poem and we are sure that General Jack and the Hero's will read it while eating their Osama Bomba Onion Soup with Salt Peter! By the way? Did that stringer babe once live on Wazir Akbar Khan Street? You know the place. That cozy cottage with the blue door?

Jan Modaal from South Africa writes,
Dear SPCC, When General Jack served his three years for 56 counts of wire fraud defrauding some 20 companies did he have a cool nickname in this prison to?

SPCC: Dear Jan, Yes! General Jack was known as Prisoner Number 14220-056! (yup you can go to the lottery on this number as real)

Mr. Ben Ahore, Central Bank of Nigeria Lagos, Nigeria, writes,
Dear Sir: I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equalling US$40,000,000. ........

SPCC: Dear Ben! Great and Wonderful (you sonofabitch you still owe General Jack some big bucks from the last scam!) to hear from our Nigerian scamming business partners! General Jack wants you to know that (unless you pay up you cheat your going to get your butt kicked!) that he has just come into some BIG BUCKS and is seeking another scam business opportunity to make some more money!

Joe Bloggs from California writes,
Dear SPCC: What's General Jacks favorite book?

SPCC: Dear Joe, General Jacks favorite book is "REPO MAN"!


(Gota love that Jeep)

DISCOURAGED FORWARD!

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