1 April 05
Coded: Stupor Duper Cosmic Top Secret
To: All Stupor Patriot Terrorist Crime Fighters Worldwide!
Fr: Stupor Patriots Comm Center
Subject: Bad News and Immediate Assistance Requested
Stupor Patriots Communications has received some very disastrous news from our Stupor Secret Intelligence Division the AP directly from our Stupor Secret Spy Bird the KH-451/2.
"Dateline Afghanistan - Three Americans jailed for torturing Afghans in a freelance hunt for terrorists have won shorter sentences but failed to persuade an appeals court to overturn their convictions.*** Jonathan Idema, Brent Bennett and Edward Caraballo appealed the rulings to the supreme court, appeals court Judge Abdul Latif said Thursday. Officials said it would be at least two weeks before the high court considers the case. At a closed session Tuesday, a four-judge appeals court in Kabul upheld the convictions for torture and operating a private jail, Latif told The Associated Press.
The court quashed a charge that the three men entered the country illegally. Idema's sentence was reduced from 10 years to five; Bennett's was cut from 10 to three; and Caraballo's was cut from eight to two, Latif said. Michael Macey, a spokesman for the U.S. Embassy, confirmed the ruling. The Americans were arrested in July after Afghan security forces raided a house in Kabul and discovered eight Afghan men who said they had been abused.
The three were convicted two months later. Latif said four Afghans convicted as accomplices were freed Tuesday because they bore little responsibility for the Americans' activities and had already spent eight months in jail. Idema, the alleged ringleader, a 48-year-old former soldier from Fayetteville, N.C., insists he and the other Americans were tracking terror suspects, including al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden in close cooperation with American and Afghan security forces. The U.S. military acknowledges accepting a prisoner from Idema but insists it realized shortly afterward that he was an impostor.
NATO peacekeepers also helped the Americans on three raids, later saying they also had been duped.Mohammed Ismail Habed, the presiding judge in the appeal, told the AP the charge of illegal entry was dropped because the Americans presented documents signed by Afghan defense officials.
He said the three men were ``very upset'' when the court upheld the remaining convictions.
The three Americans are being held at Kabul's Pul-e Charkhi prison, a facility notorious for horrific conditions and summary executions. Officials have lodged the Americans in a heated, carpeted room with satellite television and their own bathroom."
Yes Junior Cape Crusaders, our Hero's have lost another grueling appeal to win their freedom. So we at Stupor Patriots Comm Center appeal to all of our Stupor Patriots Junior Terrorist Crime Fighters Worldwide to send immediate
The following items are immediately needed:
45 boxes of Kleenex (for our sad heros)
350 tons of Prime Beef (Five years is a long time ya know)
400 tons of Iowa Potato's (plus one peeler)
1000 Maine Lobsters
300lbs of Butter
1000 bags of Chinese Rice
500lbs of Louisiana Shrimp
3 Turkeys (the real turkeys not the ones in jail)
1 Bottle of barbecue sauce
1 Six Pack of bud Light
400 packets of Desiccants (you know Afghan seasonings)
Yea graft ...we mean Red Cross packages ain't cheap these day's. We implore you to send it to our Stupor Patriots at http://www.superpatriots.us/contactus.htm
End Of Trnasmission
Stay tuned for Chapter Two....Coming very, very soon...............