Thursday, January 19, 2006


DISCOURAGED FORWARD! Junior Cape Crusaders Worldwide and our new trusty-side kick award winning Journalist Ed Caraballo!

......did Vicktoria go, where o where has she gone?

Yes Junior Cape Crusaders our G2 unit has picked up on some interesting chatter coming out of Fayetteville.

It appears that Jack's loving, admiring, affectionate, impassioned, infatuated, kind, loyal, passionate, respecting, reverent, romantic, sentimental, solicitous, tender, thoughtful, valuing, warm-hearted, worshipful, zealous....(ok that's enough) wife, Vicktoria Boyette, Robinson, Runningwolf is missing! Gone! Split! Departed! AWOL!

It is also reported that so is Vicky's new hot lover contractor boyfriend! We have been informed that the old Jackster homestead has been empty for days.... Oh sounds like the old homestead is a sitting duck for one of Jack's insurance scams! You know the one Jack! Wonder if Allstate insures this house?

Well Jack its ashame and we think you should take immediate action! You know! Send 32 Star Assistant General Thomas "Sargie" Bumhack over to the house and change the locks! Then leave Vicky a letter...something like,

Dear Vicky,

Here I sit illegally imprisoned by every intelligence agency known to man. Under constant death threats by hundreds...nonono thousands, nonono hundreds of thousands,yeah, hundreds of thousands of terrorists though I refuse to apply to the prisoner exchange program and have a 25 gazillion dollar bounty on my head and all I can do is dream about you, that is of course right after I dream about screwing the hell out of my old russian interpreter and one day holding your loving arms around me once again.

But sadly what do I find out? That you have run off with with a new side-show freak contractor boyfriend. Henceforth, as a Afghan Licensed Lawyer defending the Super Patriots against untold odds, I serve you notice that I have applied to my religious mentor Sheik Abdul Hawala after offering him three goats, one pig, 30 kilos of coke and a cow which was paid for by my lawyer John Tiffany from his escrow account...PS John the Internet bill is due and don't worry about the Sat Phone that dumb-ass Fahim is letting me run up his bill and was granted a divorce which I will send to you as soon as I can get my phony document maker some ink as of January 17, 2006! Rot in Afghan Hell!

Henceforth, herewithin, asitbe, I have ordered my dearest friend 32 Star Assistant General Thomas "Sargie" Bumbhack to change all the locks on the doors! Go live in a tent.. woman!

Your Loving divorced Husband
PS: Does Allstate still hold the insurance on our belongings and can you leave the policy number?

One of the more interesting details our G2 Unit discovered when Vicky was known as Viktoria Boyette while she was doing her Running-felon routine from Texas Authorities was this .... "Vicky Boyette - U.S. Social Security Death Index, Birth 31 Jan 1956, State Where Number Was Issued: Missouri Death Dec 1975".

Yeah Jack its always interesting with you. Don't worry Jack there are other women out there. Maybe you can try the Northbrook, Illinois area.....

Stay Tuned boy's and girl's for Part 3 The Outing! (yeah we know we are milking it for all its worth! Well hell there is just so much Jack you can write about!)


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