TGIF! Thank God I'am FREE! Thanks to the United States Military!.
Yes Junior Cape Crusaders you too can now become a Humanitarian-terrorist hunter killer-special forces-special operator! All from the comforts of your home! Just like Jack Idema!
All you have to do is visit JACK-MART!
Special Forces Certificates and even Special Operations Certificates? No Problem JACK-MART! has them! What other Certificates does JACK-MART! have? Army Airborne Ranger Certificates , Army Weapons Expert Certificates ! Anyone want a badge? Want to become a Counterr Terror Group/Task Farce Saber-rattler 7 Special Agent? ! How about a Counterr Terror Group/Task Farce Saber-rattler 7 Stupor Secret Agent?
JACK-MART! has it all!
Yes Junior Cape Crusaders you can be the only one on your block to have his own Commander Jack Stupor Patriot Action Figure! Imagine you can make believe your hunting nasty terrorists while selling seats on helicopters to moronic journalists for a grand each! Imagine you can make believe your killing terrorists while giving guided tours and selling terrorist propaganda tapes to dopey news anchors for 50 grand each! Just imagine all the fun you can have as you fake your way through combat lines, meet important people telling them your a DoD Contracting Officer! Just imagine the hours of playing Jack Idema! Terrorist-hunter killer extraordinaire!
Now only at JACK-MART!